DO
IT YOURSELF EVERY SINGLE DAY
Looking
within ourselves is not often second nature to us. When we’re young, we get
into the habit of looking to our parents and peers for recognition in order to
validate ourselves – it’s how we tend to learn about the world around us and
our place within it.
In our
structured school systems, we’re used to waiting for a teacher’s approval and
recognition and rarely learn to actually recognize ourselves. Doing this often
led to accusations of arrogance rather than self-empowerment.
Our Culture
Teaches Us to Focus On Our Weaknesses
It’s this
early structure in our culture that limits our sense of discovery about our
inner selves. But it also transcends throughout our lives through our general
mindsets on self-improvement.
When we talk
about improving ourselves, it tends to come from a space of lack. We sense we’re not doing something right or
we’re heading down the wrong life path and it’s usually in these circumstances
that we feel the need to improve the flaws that have taken us there.
When we ask
for feedback, more often than not it’s our flaws and what’s not good enough
that’s highlighted rather than what we did well. The danger of this comes when
our strengths aren’t celebrated and instead neglected in a way that is never
developed into great ones.
What
Recognition Does to Our Brains
Recognition
from others can be important but not when it’s your only source. Recognizing
our own achievements and strengths is much more powerful than any outside
validation.
Studies show
writing down and recognizing our accomplishments, no matter how small, actually
creates activity in the reward circuitry of our brains. Dopamine, along with
other key chemicals, is released causing us a sense of energy around our
achievements and allows us to get that feel-good factor.
This is why
waiting for recognition from others can be futile. It may seem positive to get
that feedback and validation from other people but when it doesn’t ultimately
come from within, it can wear off easily. When we do well, often we’re the
first to notice and we can overestimate how much others care about our
accomplishments. This is why you shouldn’t wait for recognition but instead
feel the power of recognizing yourself.
How To
Recognize Your Own Achievements and Gain Empowerment.
Write Down 3
Small Achievements Each Day
We can go
through our whole day and assume we haven’t achieved anything but this is never
the case. Even the smallest things such as meeting a new person, walking 10
minutes more than usual or helping a stranger should be considered
accomplishments and celebrated.
Writing down
at least 3 small achievements each day can get us noticing that we do achieve
more than we think. And it’s the collection of these small achievements that
add up to the huge successes.
J.K Rowling
spent many years achieving small tasks before she became hugely successful.
Persevering with writing every day with the odds seemingly piled against her
would have been extremely hard with no outside validation and constant
rejection from publishers. Instead, she took note of how well she did every day
and how much
closer she was getting to accomplishing her goal.
For Every
Weakness, Write Down a Similar Strength
We can
easily focus on our weaknesses but a good strategy is to counteract any weakness
with a strength. In other words, putting a positive spin on something seemingly
negative. This helps you see the glass half full and see strengths that you
haven’t necessarily recognized.
If you’re an
over-thinker, write next to it that you’re detailed-minded. Being a
perfectionist means you take pride in attention to detail. Having a tendency to
be over-eager means you’re passionate.
Writing
these down enables you to see things from a different perspective and you’ll
recognize not to dwell on weaknesses as completely negative.
Don’t Play
the Comparison Game
We are all
victims of comparing our lives to the success of others. But this causes us to
focus from a space of lack and stops us from seeing what we do have going for
us.
We have to
remember that everyone is on their own path and at their own pace. Most of the
time we only see a small fraction of someone’s life so it’s futile to believe
someone is ultimately doing ‘better’ than us. Social media presents us with
this constant opportunity to see a small window into others’ lives but be aware
that feelings of envy are pointless and diminishes our sense of achievement.
Don’t get sucked into the comparison game.
Keep
Listening But Remain Detached
The modern
world has a competitive nature about her. We feel we need to be the best, and
to do so, struggle and strive to be better – but at the cost of what? The
feedback we get tends to focus on the negative but the key is to be able to
filter out the helpful from the unhelpful.
It’s up to
us to decide what is constructive in our growth and what is just unnecessary.
Don’t get caught up dwelling on other’s opinions about you but instead accept
if it’s something you genuinely want to work and focus on or not. Recognizing
this from within rather than relying on outside validation will help you grow
much more quickly and in your own way.
So, while
being recognized for your achievements will give you a boost, it has the danger
of being very conditional to your sense of worth. By learning to celebrate and
recognize your accomplishments from within, you will move forward and grow in
much better ways than you thought.
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