The The Most Difficult Lesson for Parents: Let Children Play
Play is a child’s job. Have you ever noticed how focused a
child can become during their play that they ignore instructions and voices of
the adults? They are so finely tuned into their play because it is nature’s way
of helping the child develop and mature in a manner that is appealing to a
child. They don’t want to be taught how to be a doctor at age 5 by a parent
sitting them down and explaining the duties and role of the family physician.
The child would rather pretend to be a doctor and have a doll or stuffed animal
as their patient, as they go about examining their pretend patient.
Play is a way for them to practice real life scenarios in a
safe way. It also allows for the creative flow of thoughts and ideas. These are
essential to the healthy development of the child. Parents who have a hard time
letting go of their kids to allow unstructured play time need to recognize that
these activities are actually assisting in their emotional and cognitive
development.
Play can bring greater benefits than any scheduled
activities
Play is their work. It is their time to process life through
imaginative actions, and to build them into emotionally stronger people. The
benefits of creative play should not be discounted or minimized.
Creative play has a multitude of benefits for children
including:
• Greater
sense of self worth
• Problem
solving skills
• Personal
growth and learning
• Increase
in creative thought processes (creativity builds upon creativity)
• Increase
in emotional stability (children use play to work through complex issues)
• Leadership
abilities
• Cognitive
skills
• Communication
skills (as they play with other children and express themselves)
Don’t rob your kids of the benefits of creative play by
having them busy all the time in scheduled activities. Allow time for them to
play and be a child.
A subtle action can murder an innocent creative play
There are things that a parent or caregiver can
inadvertently do that will kill a child’s abilities to flourish creatively in
that moment. Below are just some of the things that can harm or inhibit creative
play.
Hovering
When adults hoover over their children during play time, the
children are aware of their presence. It inhibits their ability to play, as
many children will limit their actions based on what they believe the adult
will like or dislike in their actions. The child becomes attuned to
accommodating the hovering by playing according to positive reactions from
their caregiver.
This can also be conversely true as well. Meaning that the
child may play in a way that seeks out negative attention from the hovering
caregiver. Either way, the hovering is not beneficial in the long run, as it is
stifling the child’s ability to be creative without the direct scrutiny of an
adult.
Pressure to perform
Children need to be able to play without feeling that they
are performing. They don’t need to create something meaningful like a rehearsed
puppet show or a quality piece of artwork to be creative.
Often, creativity is built over time. They need time, space,
and freedom from pressure to be creative. Sometimes, nothing is created and
that is fine too. The purpose is to allow them to be creative on their own and
in their own element, so pressure must not be placed on them. Pressure does not
help creativity flow for children. Instead it creates stress and negative
emotions that inhibit creativity.
Control
Allow the child to do their own thing. If you are constantly
saying “why don’t you do things this way” or “how about you do this…”, then you
are trying to control the creative play.
Most children will eventually decide what and how they want
to go about doing something. They don’t need interference. Even if it is the
wrong way. As long as it is not harmful to them, then it is a creative
experience that should teach them to do things differently next time. They will
learn on their own using their own abilities than the controlling prodding from
an adult.
Competition
There is plenty of competition for kids in this world and
for the life ahead of them. Parents and adults do not need to make play time
competitive, because for many kids this puts them off. They just want to
participate with other children and enjoy the fun. They don’t want to be the
loser in a competition.
If kids create their own competition in play, then that’s
fine. It is not helpful for adults to intervene and force competitive
situations in the play. It becomes real work when competition is put into the
mix. It can suppress a child’s ability to be creative, as they are more focused
on the competition at hand that allowing their natural creativity to abound.
Let the kids lead the play
Parents should allow for the child to lead the play, as this
is allowing them to be the source of the creativity. Parents and adults can
supply the materials needed and then let the child or children play using their
own thoughts on how to proceed with the playtime. If parents get too involved
or provide too much direction they inhibit the child’s creativity and self
expression. Allowing the child space and time to play without specific
instructions is exactly what children need to flourish in their creative
element (provided that they are safe first and foremost).
Below are some ways that you can encourage your child in
free play. Allowing your child to do these things will stimulate their creative
thought processes. It will also help their development emotionally and
mentally.
1. Art
Provide your child with crayons, paints, paper, markers,
empty boxes, and more and you will see them express their creativity. You don’t
need to tell them what to draw or how to create art. They have their own ideas.
If you want to be involved in the art then encourage their play by providing
them with positive verbal cues as they play.
For example, as your daughter paints a piece of artwork and
suddenly takes a bright red paint and splatters it all over their artwork,
don’t tell her she is ruining her artwork. Instead comment on their creative
choices. Praise their ability to know what they want and that they go and do it
with confidence.
It is also ok to simply provide them with the supplies to
create art and allow them the opportunity to create on their own. If you are
concerned about mess, then cover the table and floor below the child with
newspaper, paper towels, or other disposable materials and have them put on one
of your old t-shirts. Be less concerned with the mess and more concerned with
the child being able to freely create the art.
2. Outdoor exploration
Get outside and explore with your child. Something as simple
as a bug box or binoculars can bring lots of creative ideas to the child. Allow
the child to take the lead on what they want to discover that moment in nature
or how they want to play. The great outdoors is a wonderful natural setting for
play and imaginative activities to happen.
3. Pretending adulthood
One way that children play that helps them imagine how it
will be to a grown up is through pretend play. When your children play adult
scenarios such as, school (one child is the teacher and the others are students
in a make believe classroom), doctor (they are doctors and perform surgeries
and examinations on dolls or stuffed animals), or house (the kids pretend to be
a family and they create home life situations to play out), they are imagining
what it would be like to do these things in real life. They are playing through
their reality of what can or may happen as adults in these scenarios. It is a
way for them to safely express themselves and practice what it will be like to
someday be an adult.
4. Building
Blocks, Legos, gear building sets, and other toys that allow
children to build something are great for initiating creative and imaginative
play. They must built to create something, therefore using their own skills of
creativity and ingenuity. They are the architect, the construction crew, and
the designer all in one. They plan, execute, and then enjoy the fruits of their
labor when the project is complete.
There is great joy and self-worth attained when children
build things. It isn’t just imaginative play, it is learning to start a project
and complete it for the sake of their own satisfaction. Their self-motivation
can be honed in on during building play time.
Once again, parents can provide the materials and then let
the child determine the course of the building, along with the execution. It is
ok to help along the way if they ask for help, but allow them to direct you on
what you should be doing in their project. That way they have the sense of
being in control of their project and they are taking a leadership role in
accomplishing the task at hand. It is empowering for the child and helps them
to become stronger emotionally and mentally.
5. Toys that facilitate creativity
Play Doh, tinker toys, and the like facilitate creative play
in children because they are creating somethings using these toys. These toys
can be much like art and building combined. They allow the child to create
freely from scratch. They can determine what to make and how to go about
completion of what they want to make. They are utilizing great creative and
innovative skills when allowed the space and freedom to plan and complete a
project on their own.
For example, a child can decide that they want to make a
miniature town out of Play Doh. They get to decide how to create the buildings,
where to place them, how big to make them, etc. They then get to execute and
this involves trial and error. They learn to problem solve things such as the trees
not standing up on their own, so they must create conifer trees only to support
the weight of the Play Doh. They will revel in their success of completing
their little town and feel proud of their accomplishment.
It is more than just play, it is building life skills and
developing problem solving skills that carry into adulthood.
6. Physical activity
Kids need physical activity. This is why they rarely sit
still. They need to be moving physically all throughout the day, as this is the
way children are made. They are physical creatures with an abundance of energy
that is meant to be used for their benefit in the maturation process. When they
play physically, especially with other children, they are often engaging in
creative play.
For example, they may chase one another and create
imaginative games about good guys needing to capture the bad guys. They will
create playtime activities on their own that involve physical play when they
are allowed that freedom and enough physical space to move around.
Outdoors is the best place to allow them to be physically
creative. It is also a great time for leadership skills to be developed. The
child who is simply bossy will not attract other kids at play time.
However,
the child who has good leadership skills can attract other kids to play in
their activity and can lead the way in the play.
Creative physical play time is also beneficial to their
physical well being since they are getting exercise while they are playing.
Allow kids to be kids
The Pediatrics Journal cites a variety of reasons that
contribute to the reduction of play in society today,1
…variety of factors that have reduced play, including a
hurried lifestyle, changes in family structure, and increased attention to
academics and enrichment activities at the expense of recess or free
child-centered play.
Parents need to be cognizant of their family lifestyle and
schedule to ensure that their children are allowed to have time to be children.
This means allowing them time to play freely which provides the opportunity for
their creativity to blossom.
Keeping children too busy and too structured is proving
detrimental to their development in the long run. Their creativity, which is an
important skill unlocks the gate for many valuable skills and traits children
will need in adulthood, will be hindered.
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